Depression...

Okay, I know my posts have been really melancholic recently [who the fuck reads my crap anyway?] but I've been really sad for the past few weeks. Well not totally sad everyday but I have more down moments than up moments. I've been getting really paranoid about things and I've been sleeping too much. And yes I do sleep when I'm depressed. It feels like I don't have energy to do anything anymore. [and I owe it all to those three bastards who said the sharpest things that no one could ever tolerate. THANKS A LOT, SOBs!] No, I never thought of suicide. No, I don't cut myself. And no, I never thought of even blaming myself. I'm too self-righteous for that. I'm not at fault. They're the dysfunctional ones, not me.

I believe my title isn't finished yet. Depression....can always subside. Sadness can always turn into happiness. How? By talking to friends. Friends who really care about you. Friends who are there to support you no matter what. Last night, when I was feeling my lowest, four of my dearest friends popped up on my YM list and started chatting with me. We joked around, we teased around, we talked about stuff, and even if it was already 9:30 pm [which is late for me and early for some of you..], I never felt sleepy as I really enjoyed our conversations. That's when I can say that my depression...well, didn't really go away but somehow subsided. Mellowed down, shall we say. I really enjoy the fact that some of my friends would actually take notice of my status and ask me what's wrong and offer their help. It warms my heart to know that there are people who ACTUALLY care ;)...care in the sense that they encourage you, they believe in you, they cheer for you. I love the fact that these friends always cheer me on no matter what happens. One in particular [I have mentioned her in one of my posts two years ago...Luna .]>

And I won't just take her word for it. I'll really do it and believe in it. Yes, I believe in my own awesome-ness. I believe that I have what it takes to be the best in my own fields. I won't give up no matter what obstacles I face and I will never let others pull me down. I'm gonna keep doing my own thing no matter what!

"Ain't no mountain high enough. Ain't no river wide enough..."

aja! hwaiting!!!!!